Before we can discuss failure, let’s quickly cover what is Real Success according to Dr. John Maxwell:

Becoming a REAL Success:

Relationships:  The ability to get along with others.  They either make or break your success. 

Equipping:  Those people close to you determine your success or your failure. 

Attitude:  Your attitude, more than your aptitude (what you know), will determine your altitude (how high you will go). 

Leadership:  Everything rises and falls with Leadership.  Your ability to be a success is determined by how you increase your leadership skills.

What is the Main Difference between People who Achieve and People who are Average? 

Is it your Family Background?  Many people that are successful are from broken homes. 

Story of my trip last week to the orphanages in Ethiopia. 

Is it your wealth?  No, there are many people throughout history that come from nothing to become something. 
Texas Lottery Example

Opportunity?  Opportunity is determined by who is looking at the situation.  2 people can look at the situation in two different ways. 

High morals?  Unfortunately, this is not the case.  Many people with high morals are not successful.  And many people with low morals are successful.

The absence of hardship?  Helen Keller example.  

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AVERAGE PEOPLE AND ACHIEVING PEOPLE IS THEIR PERCEPTION OF AND RESPONSE TO FAILURE. 

 
Why do we fear failure? 
Culture has done this to us. 

Why do we misunderstand failure?If you fail at something are you thus a “failure.”  Is failure a single event or is it a process? 

 Why are we unprepared for failure?  
Why do we assume that our idea will be approved, or we will get the promotion, or we will get the raise, or we will succeed at this task, without any preparation of failure?
What if I were to tell you that Failure is more common than success? 

There are more people today in poverty than wealth. 

Almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day.

25,000 children die each day due to poverty.

Only one in five of those who enroll in two-year institutions earn an associate degree within three years, and only two in five of those who start four-year colleges complete their degrees within six years.

So, during this leadership sessions we are going to talk about failure.  It is not if you are going to fail in something during your life, it is when you fail.  Are you going to Fail Forward or Fail Backwards? 

If your perception of and response to failure were changed, what would you attempt to achieve? 

Failing Backwards                  Failing Forward

Blaming others                  Taking responsibility

Repeating the Same Mistakes                 Learning from Each Mistake

Expecting never to Fail Again                  Knowing Failure is a Part of Progress

Expecting to Continually Fail                  Maintaining a Positive Attitude

Accepting Traditional Blindly                  Challenging Outdated Assumptions

Being Limited by Past Mistakes                  Taking new risks

Thinking, “I am a failure”                  Believing something didn’t work

Quitting                  Persevering                  

Over the last 2 weeks, we have filmed a video of the Leadership Series where we asked 5 different leaders within Khidmah questions about leadership.  Most of these leaders have been with us since Khidmah was founded and have heard at least 30 to 50 leadership sessions.  For many, the simple questions “What is Leadership?” was hard to answer.  Many people talked about attitude, charisma,  and leading followers to a vision.  When hearing these questions, I realized that I had done a poor job communicating the main thing.  And as my friends always say – “it is best to keep it simple.”

So, the correct definition of leadership is influence.  Leadership is all about influence.  You can not be a leader without influence and if you have influence on others you are a leader - good or bad. 

If you really think about it, the greatest leaders influence others long after they are gone (The Leadership Law of Legacy, as we learned last week).  When I first came to Abu Dhabi, I quickly learned the leadership of Sheikh Zayed still remains to this day.  The people he touched, the changes he made, the sons he raised, the vision he instilled, is still propelling this country today and will for generations to come. 

Something that Sheikh Zayed and other great leaders have always known is that true leadership cannot be awarded, appointed, or assigned.  It comes only from influence.   Most people think that because you have a high position or a title you are a leader.  NO, you just have a high position or a title – you don’t have influence. Influence is earned and based on many leadership principles. 

Dr. John Maxwell teaches that there are Five Myths About Leadership and I want us to discuss them. 

1.  The Management Myth
   • Management is focused around the running and maintainance of processes and systems.  
   •  Leadership is focused around influencing others to follow. 
   • Here is the TEST –  A manager can not create a positive change, only a leader can do that.   A manager is a maintainer and can “manage” a company going straight ahead without any challenges or changes.  But it takes a leader to lead a company with challenges and changes. 
2. The Entrepreneur Myth
   • Many successful entrepreneurs are first inventors or people that see something new that is not captured by the current market.  That does not mean they are a leader with influence.  Most entrepreneurs are solo workers that don’t have followers; they do it all themselves.
   • Many successful entrepreneurs will partner with a business leader who is able to influence followers to realize the opportunities the entrepreneur sees. 
3.  The Knowledge Myth
   • Many people fall into the myth that if a person is smart they are a leader.  After 3 Masters degrees, I can tell you that many really smart people are in colleges and universities, but they are not leaders.  If they were a leader, they would be out doing what they are teaching in these colleges and universities.  It does not mean that these professors are not great teachers, they just might not be a great leader or influencer of followers.   
   • I have personally heard many times in my career the statement, “Well, I can not be a leader because I just have a high school diploma.”  This is an excuse and has nothing to do with reality.
4. The Pioneer Myth
   •  Just because you were first to do something only means that you were the first to do something.  Nothing more. 
   • So being first is great, but you must have influence to have followers behind you – otherwise you are just first, not a leader. 
5. The Position Myth
   • Ok, HERE IS THE BIGGIE.  Most people believe that because you are of such and such title, you are a leader.  There is nothing more false about leadership than this.  
   • The title will bring you influence for about a week or maybe at the most a month.  But after that, people will see through the title and realize if you have what it takes to be their leader or not.  Titles buy you a little time, nothing else. 
   • “It’s not the position that makes the leader; it’s the leader that makes the position” – Stanley Huffty

Now hopefully I have unveiled the myths of leadership, let’s discuss influence. 

Influence according to Dictionary.com is

The capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others: He used family influence to get the contract.

The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others: Her mother's influence made her stay.

A person or thing that exerts influence: He is an influence for the good.

 So as Dr. Maxwell says “the proof of leadership is found in the followers,” and leadership is influence, then what important things matter to have influence?

1. Character – Who They are Matters.
   • As we have discussed before, leadership is built on Trust and Respect. However, a leader must have the character in order for people to respect him/her. 
2. Relationships – Who they Know Matters.
   • Are you a bridge builder when it comes to people of differences?  Or do you divide and hurt people?  Do you bring out the best or the worst in people? 
3. Knowledge – What they Know Matters. 
   • Knowledge alone will not make you a leader, but no one will follow you unless you know how to do the job or understand the business and market.
4. Intuition – What they Feel Matters. 
   • Leaders seek to recognize and influence the intangibles such as energy, morale, timing, and momentum.  They are able to sense it or feel it. Example of Khidmah at the last 60 to 90 days of 2009. 
5. Experience – Where they’ve Been Matters.
   • You are more likely to get a chance as a leader if you have the experience.  Being a followers allows you to gain experience to be ready to lead.  
6. Past Success – What They’ve done Matters.
   • Example of Saima and “We are the Service.”  Example of Adel setting up the network, email systems, etc.  Example of Kamilia with the Expo. 
7. Ability – What they Can Do Matters. 
   • Do the followers think the leader can lead them to victory or accomplishment of the vision?  A moment of truth. 

The two extremes – Leadership in the Military and Leadership of Volunteers

If you ever want a tough leadership job, then try to lead volunteers.  Leading volunteers means that the followers have set aside their own personal time to dedicate to the vision, mission or cause.  This takes a leader to inspire and influence these followers to accomplish the goals at hand.  If at anytime the volunteers do not believe in the leader or do not believe in the mission, they will just quit and allocate their personal time to something else. 

Leadership of Volunteers is 100% opposite than leadership in the military.  Literally, in the military if you do not listen to the leader and do not follow his orders you can be put in jail or court marshaled. Even though leadership is critical in the military, especially when it is life and death situations, it can be contrasted with leadership of volunteers by the amount of influence you must carry with the followers.  In the military, you can force people by rank to do something, however in volunteer leadership you must rely 100% on influence. 

In Business, the leadership level is somewhere in between the military and volunteer.  You can for a short-term rely on rank or position, however it will not last.

So you might ask, “How do you gain, increase or grow you level of influence to be a better leader?”  Well, that is where we will pick up next week. 

Lead On,
Sutton

The word Legacy means (from Wiktionary.org) “something inherited from a predecessor; a heritage.  Example:  John Smith left as his legacy an enduring spirit of respect for the environment.”  And this definition - “something inherited from a predecessor” is the concept I want to talk about today. 

Many people fall into the trap of thinking that their legacy is about the company, building, work of art, or money they have made or created in their life.  However, success does not count for much if it does not live on after you are gone.  Only people live on.  Objects do not.

When I first started out my career, I wanted to be a great businessman and make a lot of money. That was it.  If you asked me how, I would tell you that I did not know, but I was going to be rich.  I was of course very immature and had no life experience.  As I grew and matured into my thirties, I wanted to create a great company and this company would become my legacy.  But as I built that company, I realized that the company itself had no life. The people who worked there did have life. So, I turned my attention to training leaders, building up leaders.  I started working with people that wanted to go to a Hole Nutha Level, but who needed someone to believe in them and give them a chance.  Hopefully, this attitude and spirit of caring about people and helping people will be a legacy that I impart into others that they carry on to others.

Developing Your Leadership Legacy

(Law #21, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, by John C Maxwell)

1.    Know the Legacy you want to Leave

Leaders of others must first lead their own life well– not merely accepting the circumstances we find ourselves in but leading ourselves through them.  If we want to have a Legacy we need to decide what that Legacy will be and then decide to work to make that legacy happen.  

 

In order to create a Legacy it relies on your attitude:

· Must first care about others.

· Must appreciate how great an impact a good legacy can make.

· Must understand how UNimportant you are compared to the task with which you have been entrusted as a leader. 

2.    Live the Legacy you want to leave

There is a great saying, “I can not hear what you are saying because your actions are so loud.”  Basically, this means that you are saying one thing, but doing another.  Your actions must line up with what you say you want your legacy to be.  

In the book Today Matters, it states that the “secret of a person’s success is determined by their daily agenda.” So look at what you are doing each day.  The areas taking the most of your time are the areas of most importance to you.  Does your daily agenda line up with your priorities?

Personally, I spend at least 5 hours per week preparing for our leadership trainings.  It is all on my own personal time during the weekend, but this is important to me, it is what I want my legacy to be, and thus my weekly agenda is lining up with my legacy. 

There is often a natural progression to how leaders develop in the area of legacy, starting with the desire to achieve. 

· Achievement comes when leaders do big things by themselves.

· Success comes when leaders empower followers to do big things for the leader. 

· Significance comes when leaders develop leaders to do great things with them.

· Legacy comes when leaders put leaders in position to do great things without them. 

3.    Make sure to pass the Baton

If you have ever seen a relay race, you know that it’s one distance (usually 400 m) run in 4 segments (100 m) by 4 different runners.  While speed is important, being the fastest runner does not guarantee success in the relay because the most important part of a relay is the exchange of the baton.  This exchange area is very similar to the exchange of leadership that must take place between the leader and successor. 

· Mistake #1 – Leader is running to fast for the successor (wreck).

· Mistake #2 – The successor is running too fast for the leader (no hand off). 

· Mistake #3 – The leader is not ready to hand off the baton (no hand off).

· Mistake #4 – The successor is not ready to take the baton (no hand off)

A good handoff of the baton means the following:

· Leader understands the Law of Legacy and the need for a Successor.

· Successor understands the Law of Legacy and the need to be groomed for the position.

· Leader has prepared the successor for the handover.  It happens gradually, not all at once.

· Success and Leader are running at the same speed – sign of this is good communication and they begin to think alike in the vision of the company.

Most relay runners could never run a fast 400 m race on their own. They are good at 100 m and good at a handoff to another runner.  Likewise, a good leader knows his limits and hands responsibility off to a successor who can carry on.   

On of the greatest challenges of a leader is knowing when to begin to work to find a successor. Many people believe that a success means you are no longer needed in our current job.  And that is true.  However, you can not take on another opportunity if you have no one to pass the baton. 

Remembers a couple of weeks ago we discussed empowerment?  And we talked about having your hands full of rocks, which if not passed on to someone else, would cause you to miss out on a new opportunity because you were “too busy.”  Well, handing off rocks to someone else and training them to handle these rocks is the process of development of a successor. 

In closing, we all want to have a legacy.  We all want to be remembered by someone after we are gone but the best way to leave a lasting legacy is with a successor who carries on and improves upon your work.  

Lead On!

Sutton